See, there are so many things you can do I couldn’t even fit it into one blog. Here’s a few more tips. Tip#3- Switch the Topic If you realize you’re cooking a recipe for disaster, switch recipes. I think blissful peace is better, but that’s just me. Talk about something you know won’t be an issue. Maybe something he/she likes. Tip#4- Give Them Some Space- Just like you need your space so does he/she. Let them wind down and cool off. Go do something else, and let your sibling do what he/she does to cool down. Sometimes the things you do to calm down are similar if not the same as your siblings. For example, my brother and I both find that listening to music calms us down. So I know that when his music is blaring he’s upset. So even though I can’t stand his music I leave him alone, because I know it’ll be better for everyone in the long run. Usually he does the same for me too. So let them do their thing. I also strongly suggest not talking to them while their still upset, because that’ll just get you back to square one, or even negative one depending on the state of stability. So let them be. They'll eventualy simmer down. Tip#5 Stay Calm- I’m not going to lie, that is the hardest thing to do, but it’s also the most productive. If your not calm then their not going to be either. I know I’m guilty of losing when he’s losing it, but it try to work on it. It’s commendable to at least try, even if you don’t always get the results you were looking for. Everything depends on the level of stability you and your sibling are at. Do what you have to do to stay calm. Count to 10, take deep breaths. Or as my mom tells me to do, picture you at the beach, and listen to the soothing waves around. If that’s not your thing then picture yourself speeding down the highway in a fast car with the top down and the wind in your face. Just don’t literally do that, seriously, I’m not joking. I guarantee things will go WAY better if one of you stays calm, and that means you!
Friday, May 15, 2009
In some of my previous blogs I’ve mentioned ways you can cope with your own BP, and now I’m going to share some tips on coping with your siblings BP. It may not always seem like it, but there are ways to deal with your siblings BP without messing up your own mood. It can be a challenge, but it can be done. I know that every brother/sister BP or not knows how to push their siblings buttons, but I also know that if you try you can defuse the situation just as well as you can instigate one. Most of the time it’s harder to stop an argument, which can quickly lead to a melt down, than it is to start one. If you’re like me than you could probably start one in you sleep. So, Tip#1- Know when to stop. It’s easy to take things too far. I know it is for me. You mat start out just kidding and messing around, but you may end up in a shouting match or with a door being slammed in your face. Try and gage your sibling’s reaction. If you see the situation going south it’s up to you to put on the brakes, and trust me, you will be glad you did. Tip#2- Walk Away. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to walk away. Put ice on the fire. If you leave the room the situation is out of sight, and will be out of mind quicker. While it may be the best to walk away for some people, it can be the worst for others. For example, my brother gets more aggravated if I walk away, and yells at me to stop ignoring him. That’s also an example of knowing what does and doesn’t help a situation. I know every person, who has a sibling has been in these situations before. What might help you to understand what not to do is to analyze an argument you’ve had before, as long as it won’t upset you more. Try to find out what went wrong so you’ll know what not to do next time. To Be Continued....
I'm gonna do something a little bit different for the next couple of blogs. I usualy write about what i've found can help you with your bp, but for the next couple of blogs i'm gonna write about what i've found helps you cope with your siblings bp.It’s hard enough managing and coping with your own BP, but when you add in a sibling who has BP it becomes even more complicated. Just as it is with yourself there are days when everything is just dandy, and there are days when it seems like the house is going to explode from all the yelling and instability. If I had a nickel for every time my brother, who also has BP, and I fought because one or both of us were unstable I’d be rich already. Now I also have 2 brothers who don’t have BP so I know it’s normal to bicker with your siblings in fact if they/we didn’t bicker that would be more worrisome than bickering a lot. It’s a fine line between normal sibling rivalry, and unstable fighting, and as I’ve found it’s a line that’s crossed more often than not. What’s important to remember, although I always manage to forget is, your brother/sister who also has BP is dealing with many of the same things as you are. We know that, but it doesn’t always click. We both see each other as the sibling who has BP too, but we both don’t always take the time to stop and think about what that means. We’re both so focused on our own problems we either minimize or maximize each others. I’ve found it helps to stop and think about what having a sibling with BP means. It means your brother/sister has the same thing you do, and inevitably goes through many of the same things you do. What works even better is visualizing you as your sibling, because you both have at least most of the same problems. He/she is in a way you. So I know it can be difficult, especially if your siblings BP is more severe. My advice to you is to apply the golden rule. “Treat others as you want to be treated”. Just like you need some slack so do your brother/sister. So give as much as you know your going to need sometime or another. You might be surprised how far that’ll go.