Sunday, October 11, 2009
Teacher pressure is in class. Or for some students after class in detention; For those of you who may not have known there are a lot of different way to get detention the most interesting are, defacing school property, putting tacks on chairs, and starting fights almost always over a girl or guy.(I am in no way encouraging or endorsing this behavior. So if you get caught don’t say “This anonymous blogger implied it was alright”. I don’t want the cops knocking on my door at three in the morning!) Who said school was dull and unexciting? (Wait I think that was me! Ooops.) Peer pressure is everywhere outside of class, and away from the teachers. Family pressure is at home. (You can’t hide from it. It’s like one huge conspiracy. A pretty weird one too.) Personal Pressure is everywhere you are, because personal pressure comes from within you. Every other pressure is outside of you, which means you can get away from it for an extent, but you can’t hide from yourself. Everyone needs to get away from all the pressure and burden that comes with the whole life deal every once in a while. I suggest a movie at the theaters. For me there’s just something relaxing about sitting in a huge dark theater with only the sound of the movie. If you’re a girl I would strongly recommend shopping, but if it’s your friends that are pressuring you it would be a good idea to go alone. That may sound boring, but trust me it can be a relief to do something for you by yourself, I’m guilty of it. (On the other hand some people tend to go on shopping sprees when there stressed, and I strongly discourage that. Like I mentioned in my managing money blog if you’re going shopping give yourself a limit, and don’t go past that limit.) If you’re a guy you’re probably more inclined to play video games, and fix a car than to go shopping, but do what works for you. That’s all anybody can do. Think of it as a stress detoxer and a reset button. I personally love the beach, but not the ocean. I love lying on a sheet on the sand and just listening to the waves hitting the shore. Some people listen to cd’s of beach sounds but it’s not the same as the real thing. That’s what works for me, but you need to find what works for you and stick with it.
Personal pressure is the hardest to deal with because it doesn’t come from another person, who you can walk away from at any time, it comes from within you. (Or rather it comes from that miniature devil on your shoulder, and lets be honest most of the time the angel has more important things to do) Personal pressure can range from pushing yourself to get the best grade in class, to performing well at work, to any other scenario that has to do with you. Which if you think about it is every scenario. Everyone puts a certain amount of pressure on themselves, which if it is the right amount can help you, but too much pressure will hurt you in the long run. Too much pressure is unhealthy. If you’re stressed to the max you might not eat enough, or you might eat too much. Everything requires a certain amount of balance. Balanced personal pressure will help you accomplish a lot of things, but too much pressure can actually hinder your abilities. For example my younger brother wants to be the best in class, and if he gets a B+ he thinks the world is going to end. It’s good that he wants to be good at his school work, but he puts more pressure on himself than any teacher would. While most of the time he meets his personal standards it comes with a price. He stresses himself out, which makes him nervous, and when he’s nervous he chews the tip of his finger. (Weird right. You would think he would chew his nail, but he doesn’t) When he does that enough he makes his fingers raw, which hinders his ability to write. So it’s a double edged sword. Good and bad. I know there’s a lot more people who do the same thing. (To clarify I don’t mean the chewing on your finger part, just the stress part) I know I did when I was younger, but as I got older I lessened the pressure a little bit, because I realized that it was actually making me worse, because I would get sick, and put more pressure on myself to catch up, which would just start the cycle all over again. The moral of the story is most people do better with less pressure, which includes personal pressure, because their not all bogged down. There’s no trick to lightening up. It’s a choice and the better one if you ask me. If you’re not sure put it to the test do it for a month and see what happens. Then go from there.
Family pressure is a lot like peer pressure. It’s there every day, and has a limitless range of pressure on different things. It’s even worse in some aspects. Like the fact you have to live with them, and see them everyday. At least with peer pressure you get a break at your home, or outside of school. Family pressure is the opposite you get sucked into it after school and at your own home. In theory you’re trading one type of pressure for another. (Insert sarcastic Wahoo here) The best thing I’ve found that personally works for me is (and I don’t mean to sound disrespectful or rude) putting it out of your mind. Listen to what they say, they are still your parents, but don’t take what they say and add it to your own pressure. Listen, acknowledge, and either apply or throw away. They just want the best for you, but if their pressure is adding more to your own then for your own good don’t add it to your collecting pressure. They don’t know how much pressure you carry around, but you do. Some unnecessary pressure also comes from miscommunication, which unfortunately never goes completely away it’s something you have to work at. It might help if you tell them that your trying to do your best, and explain to them how much pressure you have on you, which will help the to see and understand, and put less pressure on you. (That works for me. Because they have so much going on that they might not notice your woes on their own, but if you make it known to them they will work with you better.) Believe it or not they aren’t the enemy. Try talking to them; you might be surprised how far that goes. (I didn’t mean that statement to sound like a fortune cookie.)
Almost everyone in your life is pressuring you in one way or another. (A’int that the truth)Teachers and guidance councilors pressure you to get good grades so you can get into a good college, and “Make something of your life”. I for one disagree with that statement. I believe you don’t have to get a “higher education” to succeed. It would certainly help, but how your life turns out is up to you not your education. While they have your future in mind, and want the best for you. It is your future, and is ultimately up to you to decide what to do and how to do it. (That may be a little scary for some students) While your teachers and parents may push you to get into a good college it’s your choice which one you go to, and what you do once you get there. Just thinking about your future is almost always guaranteed to give you a headache. (I know I get one) I suggest setting short term goals if you don’t have any long term goals. If you have short term goals it will help you decide your long term goals. If you want to do something completely different than what your parents and teachers want you to do, go for it. It’s your life not there’s. But I do recommend listening to what they have to say because they do have more experience than you, and have been through some of the same things. Even if you know you want to go a different direction with your life you should still take into consideration what everyone has told you, because worst case scenario only some of it is right.
Now a days there is an insane amount of pressure on kids, and not just from one or two people. Almost everyone in your life is pressuring you in one way or another. There’s peer pressure from your classmates and friends. Peer pressure is probably the most versatile type of pressure. It’s not just one or two specific things, peer pressure has a huge range, and is worst than any other type of pressure. Stay strong it gets better, and if you resist you’ll feel better too. You might not believe this, but your peers will respect you more for standing your ground. The same thing happened to me, and when I refused to back down they treated me with more respect, and less pressure, because they knew I wasn’t going to cave. Here are some things I’ve found helpful when facing peer pressure. 1. If it’s someone you know, in your mind pretend like they’re a stranger. It’s easier to resist someone you don’t know than someone you do know. I know it may sound silly, but if your friend wants you to do something wrong than at that moment they aren’t your friend. 2. Practice saying NO! If you know a peer is going to try and pressure you into doing something practice either in your head or out loud how to respond. Then respond the same way when they ask you, make yourself say it. 3. Stand up for yourself If someone is trying to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do that person is bullying you. There are three choices on how to deal with bully’s Don’t do anything and suffer through it (in some cases that could be years) Deal with it yourself (That can either be easier or harder depends on the case) Tell someone and get help dealing with them ( Easiest and most productive route) I’ve found the last two to be more effective than the first one, because depending on the case it could be a constant thing for years. Putting up with that is bad on not only your emotional well being, but your physical well being also, because it could become so bad that you continually get sick or stop eating. I strongly recommend choice number three. Tell someone older than you a parent, teacher, or even older friend. Ask them what they think you should do, because there is a very strong possibility that person has gone through the same things your going through. There is a light at the end of the tunnel (Just don’t go towards it!!!) It may be hard to talk about or even embarrassing, but it can be worth it in the end. Try it and see what I mean.