Managing Your Money

Everyone knows that spending the money you have is easy, but saving the money you have can be hard. The trick is to learn how to manage it. Managing your money can be harder for someone with mood swings. When your manic you tend to buy a lot more than you need or even want, and when your depressed you may not spend anything at all. Spending or saving money can also be a compulsion for some people. Like most teens I like to spend the money I make, but I also know that I should put some into savings. Here’s a few tips I’ve found worked (most of the time anyway) 1. Put a certain amount in savings every time I put one third of my paycheck into savings every time. That way I’ll have a steady stream of income and at the same time a steady stream of savings. The same thing works for allowances. Put aside a certain amount every time, even if it’s just 50 cents, and you’ll be surprised how fast it adds up. 2. Only carry small bills If you don’t want to spend all your money at once leave most of it home, and only carry however much you feel is ok to spend. And no that doesn’t mean leave 15 and carry 50. That means carry 15 and leave 50. If you find something you absolutely have to buy and you don’t have enough money remember you can always come back later. That also allows you enough time to think about if you actually do want/need/can’t live without it, or if you just thought you did at the time. That’s a trick that helped me when I started buying a whole bunch of stuff I thought I needed/wanted at the time but later figured out I didn’t. 3. Bargain Buy When you look for bargains on stuff you want to buy you kill two birds with one stone. You get what you want, and you save money. But bargains are a two edged sword. They’re great for saving you money on something, but they also tend to make you want to buy something just because it’s on sale. When I first started paying more attention to when sale’s were going on I was excited at all the money I thought I could be saving, and I did save money. But what I found is that I actually spent more than I originally intended to because I bought so much stuff just because it was on sale. Even though it’s on sale it still costs something and If you get a lot of stuff on sale it can still be expensive. 4. Find What Works for You All of these things work for me but they may or may not work for you. If they do great, but if they don't than my next suggestion is to sit down (or stand up) and think about how you usually spend your money and what you can do to manage it better. Just doing that is a good thing, and I guarantee it will help you see things a little differently, and remember to actually put into practice what you say you’re going to in your head. There’s no point to figuring out how to manage your money if you don’t put it into practice. That’s my advice take it or leave it, and I really hope you take it. (My feelings would be very hurt if you didn’t at least try!)

Bickering With Your BP Sibling Part 2

See, there are so many things you can do I couldn’t even fit it into one blog. Here’s a few more tips. Tip#3- Switch the Topic If you realize you’re cooking a recipe for disaster, switch recipes. I think blissful peace is better, but that’s just me. Talk about something you know won’t be an issue. Maybe something he/she likes. Tip#4- Give Them Some Space- Just like you need your space so does he/she. Let them wind down and cool off. Go do something else, and let your sibling do what he/she does to cool down. Sometimes the things you do to calm down are similar if not the same as your siblings. For example, my brother and I both find that listening to music calms us down. So I know that when his music is blaring he’s upset. So even though I can’t stand his music I leave him alone, because I know it’ll be better for everyone in the long run. Usually he does the same for me too. So let them do their thing. I also strongly suggest not talking to them while their still upset, because that’ll just get you back to square one, or even negative one depending on the state of stability. So let them be. They'll eventualy simmer down. Tip#5 Stay Calm- I’m not going to lie, that is the hardest thing to do, but it’s also the most productive. If your not calm then their not going to be either. I know I’m guilty of losing when he’s losing it, but it try to work on it. It’s commendable to at least try, even if you don’t always get the results you were looking for. Everything depends on the level of stability you and your sibling are at. Do what you have to do to stay calm. Count to 10, take deep breaths. Or as my mom tells me to do, picture you at the beach, and listen to the soothing waves around. If that’s not your thing then picture yourself speeding down the highway in a fast car with the top down and the wind in your face. Just don’t literally do that, seriously, I’m not joking. I guarantee things will go WAY better if one of you stays calm, and that means you!

Bickering with Your BP Sibling Part1

In some of my previous blogs I’ve mentioned ways you can cope with your own BP, and now I’m going to share some tips on coping with your siblings BP. It may not always seem like it, but there are ways to deal with your siblings BP without messing up your own mood. It can be a challenge, but it can be done. I know that every brother/sister BP or not knows how to push their siblings buttons, but I also know that if you try you can defuse the situation just as well as you can instigate one. Most of the time it’s harder to stop an argument, which can quickly lead to a melt down, than it is to start one. If you’re like me than you could probably start one in you sleep. So, Tip#1- Know when to stop. It’s easy to take things too far. I know it is for me. You mat start out just kidding and messing around, but you may end up in a shouting match or with a door being slammed in your face. Try and gage your sibling’s reaction. If you see the situation going south it’s up to you to put on the brakes, and trust me, you will be glad you did. Tip#2- Walk Away. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to walk away. Put ice on the fire. If you leave the room the situation is out of sight, and will be out of mind quicker. While it may be the best to walk away for some people, it can be the worst for others. For example, my brother gets more aggravated if I walk away, and yells at me to stop ignoring him. That’s also an example of knowing what does and doesn’t help a situation. I know every person, who has a sibling has been in these situations before. What might help you to understand what not to do is to analyze an argument you’ve had before, as long as it won’t upset you more. Try to find out what went wrong so you’ll know what not to do next time. To Be Continued....

You and Your BP Sibling

I'm gonna do something a little bit different for the next couple of blogs. I usualy write about what i've found can help you with your bp, but for the next couple of blogs i'm gonna write about what i've found helps you cope with your siblings bp.It’s hard enough managing and coping with your own BP, but when you add in a sibling who has BP it becomes even more complicated. Just as it is with yourself there are days when everything is just dandy, and there are days when it seems like the house is going to explode from all the yelling and instability. If I had a nickel for every time my brother, who also has BP, and I fought because one or both of us were unstable I’d be rich already. Now I also have 2 brothers who don’t have BP so I know it’s normal to bicker with your siblings in fact if they/we didn’t bicker that would be more worrisome than bickering a lot. It’s a fine line between normal sibling rivalry, and unstable fighting, and as I’ve found it’s a line that’s crossed more often than not. What’s important to remember, although I always manage to forget is, your brother/sister who also has BP is dealing with many of the same things as you are. We know that, but it doesn’t always click. We both see each other as the sibling who has BP too, but we both don’t always take the time to stop and think about what that means. We’re both so focused on our own problems we either minimize or maximize each others. I’ve found it helps to stop and think about what having a sibling with BP means. It means your brother/sister has the same thing you do, and inevitably goes through many of the same things you do. What works even better is visualizing you as your sibling, because you both have at least most of the same problems. He/she is in a way you. So I know it can be difficult, especially if your siblings BP is more severe. My advice to you is to apply the golden rule. “Treat others as you want to be treated”. Just like you need some slack so do your brother/sister. So give as much as you know your going to need sometime or another. You might be surprised how far that’ll go.

Everyone Needs A Good Laugh

I truly believe everyone needs a good laugh as often as possible. I have personally found that two things help relieve my stress: 1. Crying 2. Laughing, now I don’t know about you but I would pick laughing over crying everyday. I don’t mean the ha ha very funny laugh, or the slight giggle either. I mean the loud, head thrown back, sides hurting laugh. That is what a good laugh truly means. When you laugh a good laugh for a moment you forget your worries and you can almost feel the stress being washed away, and with the way this world is I truly believe everyone should get to experience that as often as possible. With three younger brothers who love to clown around it’s not too hard for me to find something to laugh at! For those who don’t have as much to laugh at I strongly recommend reading the book Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid written by Gina Gallagher and Patricia Konjoian (A.K.A. the Shut Up Sisters). This book was co-write by two sisters with children who have Asperger’s and Bipolar Disorder. What makes this book unique is how they intertwine the seriousness along with the humor of the various situations. I guarantee they will have you bursting with laughter in no time. I would recommend this book to any and every parent of a child or teen with a mental disability, and I recommend reading it as soon as possible too, because I know you’ll find it every bit as enjoyable as I did.

Stress Factor

Stress is the one thing that each individual on earth has experienced. Scary right. For people with Bp it can be scary. Stress messes with your moods, and effects each person differently. For example when my brother is stressed he gets frustrated and angry faster, but when I get stressed I cry. The biggest stress factor for teens is school. Teens have to deal with the pressure at school from teachers to excell acedemically, and to get into college. Of course the mound of homework they heap on you doesn't help. Just that is enough to cause a teen without Bp to melt down. Then add in the pressure from your peers to "fit in" and it's a recipe for disaster. Here are a few tips I've found helpful to put out the fire not fuil it.

1. Seperate yourself from the source. If a teacher or class is causing a problem ask to go to your "safe room". In my previous blogs i explained what a "safe room" is, and that everyone should have one. The definition of a "safe room" is a place where you can go to cooldown no matter what. Somewhere or someone that calms you down. You can stay there until you defuse then go back, or stay there if you know going back will get you right back where you started.

2. Do something that you know relaxes you. Putting your head down on your desk and blocking out the problem while taking deep breaths may help if you can't physically leave. That is what my brother does when he can't leave class.

What I used to do when I got upset and/or stressed at school was to wait until I got home and then let everything out at once. I usualy ended up slamming my door and screaming into my pillow or venting at my mom. My mom suggested making a list of 10 things that I know calms me down and tape it to my wall where I can see it. Then everytime I get upset to look at it and do all 10 things on the list to calm down. That helped tremendously, and I strongly suggest doing this to anyone who gets uspet and/or stressed frequently. I'll list a couple things I put on my list that you might find helpful.

1. Count to 15

2. Take several deep breaths

3. Listen to music

4. Write down what I was feeling and why I was feeling it, and then throw it away

5. Think about something else

6. If possible watch a movie

Those are a few of the things I found helpful to relieve stress at home and at school. Some of them might help you, and some of them won't. The key is to find what helps you personally. I know I say that in almost every one of my blogs, but it's because it's important. Give them a try you never know.

How Do I Tell My Friends I Have BP?

So now you've decided to tell a friend of yours you have bipolar disorder. The next question you ask yourself is "How do I tell my friends I have bp?" For most people telling your friends is much harder than deciding to tell your friends. I know it was for me. I must have run through a hundred scenarios in my head. Do I tell my friend at school? Maybe on the way to class, or in the library. Do I tell my friend when I have a sleepover? Should I tell my friend over the phone, or on IM? There are countless ways to tell your friend you have bp. I recommend a face to face conversation. That way you can watch their reaction and answer any questions they may have. I found that worked best for me. But, however you want to tell them make sure it's a setting your comfortable in. You might feel more comfortable telling them over the phone. While someone else mat not. It's your decision and it's also your friend. Tell your friends the way you want to tell them. If they are a true friend they'll support you, and stick with you.